


real enough

by cadyjanis



Series: cadnis [3]
Category: Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Kissing, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-02 06:51:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16300157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadyjanis/pseuds/cadyjanis
Summary: it’s quiet for a good long while. then janis murmurs, “you know you can talk to me about stuff. like, if something is on your mind, you can tell me. and i can just listen.”“i know,” cady sighs, squeezing her hand. “but there isn’t anything on my mind. that’s the problem.”—cady has a weird day, but janis is there to make it better.





	real enough

**Author's Note:**

> decided to project my mood onto cady bc we could all use a janis when we feel like shit huh

Cady has been out of it all day, like she’s on autopilot and watching herself go through the motions of her morning routine and then school. She forced herself to act normal, but being so groggy made it difficult to be convincing. Janis immediately noticed something was off, but knew better than to push it.

 

Cady is aware she needs to get her homework done, but it’s seven o’clock now and she hasn’t moved since she got home and flopped onto her bed with nothing but her phone and her bedside books for company. Her eyes skim the pages of what she’s reading, and she finds that she has to go back and reread paragraphs because she’s not really paying attention, which disconcerts her more.

 

She doesn’t understand what’s wrong. She took her meds last night then again after breakfast. She just feels _weird_. Like she didn’t get enough sleep or her brain didn’t fully wake up or something. She’d be worried if she wasn’t so empty inside. Which should bother her. But it doesn’t, because she can’t feel anything.

 

Distantly, she hears the familiar rumble of Janis’s truck pulling into the Herons’ driveway. The engine cuts, the door slams, and a minute later there’s a faint knock downstairs. She listens to her mother greet her girlfriend, then tell her Cady’s upstairs in her room. Cady can picture Janis pausing on the bottom step to remove her boots out of courtesy, and Cady counts the number of steps she takes to reach Cady’s room.

 

Janis taps on the door right when Cady knew she would.

 

“Hey you,” she says, audibly making herself sound more upbeat. “Your mom said I could come up.”

 

“You may enter,” Cady drawls, and she almost sounds like she’s catching a cold. She’s probably just congested from lying down for three hours. She’d know if she was sick.

 

Janis comes in then, and the two smile at each other habitually. Cady can’t not smile when she sees or looks at Janis. And she really is happy to see her, she simply lacks the energy necessary to show it.

 

Janis shrugs off her jacket to drape it over Cady’s desk chair, then comes to join her on the bed. Cady’s already on the left, like she sensed she’d have a visitor later. Janis is so tall that her feet reach the end of the queen mattress, and Cady grins at her orange and black Halloween socks. She got Janis an October gift basket last week just as a romantic gesture, and she’s glad Janis likes the socks.

 

“Whatcha reading?” Janis inquires, snuggling up to Cady’s side, ankles crossed.

 

Cady shows her the cover, and she hums in delight—it’s a book she gifted to Cady recently, too. “You liking it?” she asks, and Cady nods. She slides her bookmark in and puts it aside, definitely unable to concentrate now, then links her hand with Janis’s. Janis has soft, warm hands, a contradiction to the tough punk vibes she gives off. Cady likes holding Janis’s hand, especially right now—it feels real, which makes _her_ feel real.

 

They don’t talk. Janis runs her other fingertip along the back of Cady’s hand, tracing the shape of the bones under her skin and then the pattern on her bracelet. Cady gets lost in a trance, watching Janis touch her, head on Janis’s shoulder. There’s no sound save for their soft, synchronized breathing; Cady is so calm, she finally can’t hear her heart for the first time today, and it’s a blessing.

 

_The Janis effect_ , Damian would sing, and that makes her smile, because it’s true. She’s lucky she found someone who makes her forget the bad stuff she’s feeling when they’re around. Of course Janis isn’t responsible for Cady nor is she required to take care of her twenty-four seven, but she came over to check on her and is just as content to lay here in silence as Cady is. She just knows what Cady needs without being told.

 

It’s quiet for a good long while. Then Janis murmurs, “You know you can talk to me about stuff. Like, if something is on your mind, you can tell me. And I can just listen.”

 

“I know,” Cady sighs, squeezing her hand. “But there isn’t anything on my mind. That’s the problem.”

 

Janis looks at her, concerned. Cady occasionally has off days just like everyone else—Janis does, too—but never to this extent. She’s feeling better and more clear-headed now that Janis is here, but can’t explain why it’s the worst it’s ever been. And maybe there is no reason, and she doesn’t have to find one. It’s just one of those days.

 

Janis brings the back of Cady’s hand to her lips. “I’m sorry,” she whispers, rolling onto her side to face Cady. “What can I do?” Sweet Janis, always trying to help.

 

“Nothing,” Cady sighs, rubbing her eyes. If she fell asleep right now, she’s pretty sure she’d sleep for a thousand years. She’s also pretty sure Janis would wait all that time until she woke up.

 

There’s a contemplative pause, then Janis says impishly, “I haven’t kissed you yet today.”

 

Cady grins. She’s always up for kisses. “Oh, no?”

 

“No,” Janis confirms somberly. “Do you mind if I kiss you now?”

 

“Nope,” Cady whispers, and so Janis kisses her. A mere press of lips, barely a kiss at all. Cady pouts, unsatisfied, so Janis does it again, actually putting some damn effort in this time. Cady smiles as Janis’s hand moves to touch her cheek, then lets Janis climb on top as per usual.

 

They kiss slow and lazy, pressed up against each other with lethargic need. The solid weight of Janis above her, the irresistible smell of her skin, the tickle of hair that falls in her face, are all things Cady craves when she’s more or less not feeling like herself. This is real, and Janis is real, and the ache between her legs is undoubtedly real. She blushes redder than her plaid shirt, and Janis huffs a laugh like she knows why.

 

Cady can hear her heart beating again, but it’s a welcome sound now that Janis is the cause of it.

 

She can’t explain today. But she has this, and it’s real, and it’s enough.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! kudos and comments are fetch ♡


End file.
